EXODUS 20:14
TEN WORDS – THE SEVENTH WORD.
MARRIAGE SHOULD BE HONORED BY ALL.
In the name + of Jesus.
During the week of God's creation, while all the universe was still without a flaw, the Lord God established marriage as the basic unit of society. One reason God gave for this is that “it is not good that the man should be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) It is good for the man to have a wife so that God could issue this blessing: “Be fruitful and multiply.” (Genesis 1:28) This is a general command and blessing which was bestowed upon all men and women. This blessing produces a natural drive in men and women to enjoy intimacy and to have children. In order for the children to be raised in a stable and secure environment, the man and woman would first be bound together in marriage—devoted for the good of each other and for the good of the children which God would give them. None of this was an afterthought or reaction after Adam and Eve first saw each other. From the beginning, even in a perfect world, this was God's design. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. (Genesis 1:31) God blessed marriage and set it in high honor. Therefore, marriage should be honored by all.
From the very beginning, God had intended marriage to serve the highest good for a man and a woman. It is the closest and most intimate relationship that can exist among people. Those who have a good marriage know that this is true. Whoever does not have a good, strong marriage knows that this close relationship can cause pain like no other. When a marriage ends in divorce, the husband and wife who had been joined together as one are rent apart. The ripple effects—or perhaps it feels more like pounding waves—also disturb children and extended families. Society itself is weakened by families that break up. And often children repeat the patterns that they learned from their parents, resulting in more divorces and broken homes. Anyone who says that marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper ignores this breakdown and insults those who honor marriage for what God intends it to be.
Marriage is to be honored by all, whether you are married or not. In his explanation of the 6th Commandment, Martin Luther taught us what we are to strive toward: “We should fear and love God that we lead a pure and decent life in words and actions, and that husband and wife love and honor each other.” (Small Catechism) It is not merely actions that God judges, but attitudes as well. Marriage is often dishonored because of our speech. Men make crude jokes about women, depicting them as objects of conquest to be used rather than people to be cherished and protected. Some women have adopted this locker-room mentality or play to it. They flaunt their bodies and boast of their own proclivities. Now people celebrate what is impure and indecent in words and actions. Both men and women belittle the value of marriage and turn sex into a sport rather than a gift. Once the marriage bed is no longer reserved for marriage, we should not be surprised that marriage itself is deemed unnecessary.
Marriage is to be honored by all. God set it up as he did because he is a God of order. He created man and woman as sexual beings. God does not tell us that such urges are evil; they are natural. But they are to be controlled as used in a way that God has deemed pure. Therefore, God established the marriage union as the proper and blessed way of fulfilling those natural urges. He has established a pattern for men and women to follow, and he bestows blessings upon the man and woman who keep his Commandment.
Unfortunately, we are being taught much more about love and marriage from the entertainment industry than from God's word. The classic story is that a man and a woman meet, and that love is a continual romantic ride where the excitement never ends. In these stories, one or both people are in relationships where the excitement had cooled off to a normal, routine life. Then they find excitement from someone else. If they craft the story well, you even find yourself cheering for a woman to leave her husband for the more exciting alternative. How disappointing, then, when people discover that marriage is more about coordinating schedules and tending to chores than roses, dining, and dancing. That's not to say that marriage is boring; it is to say that marriage is work. And yet, God has decreed it to be most noble and holy work—that husbands and wives love and honor each other.
Perhaps the problem lies in how we define the word, “Love.” While dating and marriage certainly will include emotion and romance, that is not love. Love is not an emotion that burns hot and cools off; love is a policy which remains constant. It is a commitment that each will be devoted to the good of the other. That commitment is never withdrawn, even when a man and wife are fighting over something. The marriage vow is binding. The commitment is unconditional. And love is the policy that keeps the bond and the commitment intact.
St. Paul teaches us that marriage is a reflection of the love and commitment that exists between Christ and his Church. He wrote: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:25-27) Christ does not love the Church because he gains something by having her. He chooses her despite her blemishes and faults. But he does not ignore them. Instead, he covers them. He takes what belongs to the Bride and makes it his own. So Jesus assumes the debt his Bride owes and he pays the price. Though it means he must suffer hellish torment and though it costs him his life, Jesus willingly dies for the benefit of his Bride, the Church.
By his sufferings and death, Jesus has paid the bride-price to have his Church. And he has been pleased to bring you into it. He has taken away all your sins and covered you in his innocence. And he does not love you with conditions or for as long as he finds it exciting or worth his while. Jesus Christ loves his Bride, the Church. This is the policy. He is committed to her good, and he covers every wrinkle, every spot, and every blemish with his own innocence and goodness. She is beautiful because he makes her beautiful. Marriage should be honored by all husbands in this way. Husbands are to love and honor their wives. This means a man will have a sacrificial love which regularly says “No” to himself so that what he would invest in himself he instead invests for the good of his bride and his family. For, this is how Christ loves and honors his betrothed, his Church.
While men and women may seek to find the one each will marry, it is the man who leaves his father and mother to establish the new house with his bride. It is the husband who is to give his provision, protection, and his name to his wife. For, love is the policy that endlessly seeks the good of his wife. And how does the wife respond to all this? St. Paul wrote: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. (Ephesians 5:22-23) Americans bristle at the word “submit.” Americans have been taught that we submit to no one. This is one of the reasons marriages fail. Marriage cannot work as a two-headed beast or as a rivalry.
Marriage should be honored by all wives who submit as the Church submits to Christ. Why does the Church submit to Christ? Because that is how she receives good things from him. By submitting to Christ, the Church is not humiliated, but exalted. The Bride receives from her Groom his commitment, his name, his protection, and his provision. Just as Christ took from her all that was hers—her debt and her flaws, so also Christ gives to her all that is his—his righteousness and his glory. In this same way, wives are to rejoice in receiving the love, devotion, and dedication of their husbands. All that is his is given to her. Marriage should be honored by all wives in this way. Wives are to love and honor their husbands; finding ways to support them and exalt them rather than to catalog their faults and let them know how other husbands are better. For, this is how the Church loves and honors Christ.
Is the love Christ has for his church emotional or romantic? No. Jesus does not look at you googly-eyed, singing sappy love songs, and wanting to hold your hand. Jesus' love is a fully-committed, unconditional dedication for your benefit and your salvation. Love is fulfilled in hard work—saying “No” to oneself for the sake of the other. Jesus did the work, forsaking what was good for himself, so that you would receive his blessings. Because of his sacrificial love, Jesus pardons all your offenses—even sins against the 6th Commandment, be they adultery, divorce, fornication, lust, or obscenity. The Lord Jesus continues to cover your debts and clothes you in his righteousness because he remains faithful to the vow he made to you, sealed in your baptism and renewed in Holy Communion.
Marriage should be honored by all—whether you are married, single, or divorced. God established it for the good of man and woman, for the blessing of a family, and for the stability of society. He has decreed it to be very good. And because he has betrothed himself to the Church and exalted his Bride, we shall all have a place at the wedding feast of the Lamb. For we are his beloved redeemed, and he is ever faithful to us.
In the name of the Father and of the Son + and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
