When the Pharisees came to Jesus to ask about marriage and divorce, Jesus made it clear that divorce was not a part of God's plan. Moreso, divorce is rebellion against God's plan. When Jesus declared, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6), it was not a mere encouragement. It was divine Law. It still is divine Law. Marriage is a gift of God. Marriage is blessed by God. Marriage has been established by God to be a life-long union between one man and one woman. People who dissolve a marriage for any reason rebel against and reject what God has established.
God has designed marriage to be a great blessing for a man and a woman. That does not mean it is easy. Two people, both sinners, often compete with each other for preference, for pride, and for personal interests. Both can be lazy, selfish, sarcastic, and resentful. Both husband and wife have goals and can look at the other as a hinderance to those goals. Such sins make marriage bitter.
The Pharisees sought a way out of that. Moses was their out. “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away" (Matthew 19:7)? This was a concession, not a command. A certificate of divorce was only given as a way for a woman to be publicly known as a divorced woman. It was done only for the sake of order. The Pharisees seemed to think this was God's stamp of approval on divorce. But that would be like saying vandalism is okay as long as one pays the fine for it. A fine is not a fee which grants permission to vandalize. It is a punishment and a deterrent because vandalism is wicked.
Even the apostles seemed to be alarmed by Jesus' words when he spoke so strongly against divorce. When they recognized that God offers no escape clause, they said, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it” (Matthew 19:10-12).
Jesus' point about eunuchs is mainly that most people are not designed for a celibate life. God created us to be sexual beings. That was established by God's blessings back in the Garden of Eden. "God said to (Adam and Eve), 'Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it'" (Genesis 1:28). Therefore, the sexual drive to reproduce is common to all people. There are some who do not have a drive and are perfectly content to remain single. They are the eunuchs Jesus spoke about in the verses above. This contentment is a gift. The norm, however, is to be marriage, then sex, then--as God chooses to bless it--children.
The sexual drive God instills in people is properly carried out in marriage. It is for the mutual benefit of husband and wife who work together for the good of their family. It is especially good for children to have this father-and-mother care. Those who chose to act outside of God's design subject themselves hardships that God did not intend. And God's wrath runs hot against the men who impregnate women, abandon them, and reject any responsibility for their actions. There is nothing manly about this. It is selfish and cowardly at the highest level. If a man is unwilling to bind himself to a woman for life, he should not do it for a night either. Women, it is for your benefit that God forbids sex before marriage. You will spare yourself much fear and grief if you refrain from the bed until marriage.
So, why does God make such a big deal about marriage being an unbreakable bond? Because it is a reflection of Jesus Christ and his Church. Jesus is fully committed and faithful to his Bride, the Church. The Church, then, is also to be faithful to her Groom, Jesus. The Church is by no means the best Jesus can do until he finds a better option. He does not use the Church for his own selfish gains. He loves his Church despite its weaknesses and blemishes. He continually forgives the sins against him. Jesus gave up everything for the Church so that she can be his for all eternity. The Church, in turn, recognizes that there is no greater love than what Jesus gives to her. The Church willingly submits to Jesus Christ for her own blessing and benefit. Marriage is to be a reflection of that mutual love.
Just as Jesus does not look for ways to get out of his commitment to the Church and just as the Church will find no greater love than in Jesus, neither should husbands or wives flee from their marriage vows.
Yes, marriage can have its challenges. But there is no greater earthly bond than a husband and wife. Each serves the good of the other. Each is to seek the good of the other. Each should confess their sins against the other so that each can forgive each other and strive for a joyful union.
Rather than seeking to get out of a marriage, each should be concerned about what he or she is putting into the marriage. That will result in the blessings God has always intended them to have.
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