Wedding of Dana LeFevre and Evan Petersen (August 7, 2026)

This sermon was preached at the Buhl Estate in Addison Oaks County Park in Leonard, Michigan.

THE LORD BINDS YOU TOGETHER FOR A BLESSED UNION.

ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12

In the name + of Jesus.

     The institution of marriage was designed by God.  It is still God’s plan, and it is still a good idea.  The Lord established marriage when he brought Adam and Eve together and blessed them.  The Scriptures remind us: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will remain united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).  Marriage is a blessed union where two become one—one household, one family.

     When God established marriage, he did it in a world that was still pure and perfect.  Marriage was not something God threw together quickly once sin entered the world.  Holy matrimony was established in a holy world; and God called it good.  It is still good, and it brings tremendous blessings to a man and a woman even in a sinful world.

     King Solomon spoke about the partnership of two people in his book of Ecclesiastes.  If you read through the whole book of Ecclesiastes, you will find that Solomon declared many earthly pursuits to be ultimately meaningless.  Regarding the marital union, however, Solomon found great blessing.  He wrote, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their hard work.  If one of them falls, his companion can lift him up.  Pity the person who falls and has no one else to lift him up.  What’s more, if two lie down, they can keep warm, but how can one person keep warm alone?  Though an attacker can overpower one person, two people together can stand up against him” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

     This makes marriage seem quite practical.  And to be sure, there are benefits of joining your resources and your energies.  No longer do you pay twice the rent and twice the utilities.  You will not need to clean two homes and care for two yards.  But marriage is no mere arrangement of convenience.  You are not business partners.  You are not roommates.  Two individuals may pull apart, but a husband and wife are intertwined as one.  The Lord binds you together in a blessed union. 

     Now, the bad news.  Even though you are joined together in a blessed union, you still remain two sinners.  You will discover different opinions, different preferences, and possibly even different priorities.  The devil will use these to try to break up this union.  And the devil is sly enough to use pesky, little things to mount up into resentment and sarcastic zingers.  Right now, you can’t imagine that you will argue about how to fold towels or load a dishwasher.  Of course, engineers tend to think that there is a specific way of doing something, and you may not always agree on what that way is.  These are the things that stoke up self-importance at the expense of your spouse.  Even if you win the argument, the marriage takes the blow.

     If this marital union is nothing more than a business arrangement, you could just dissolve the partnership and look for new roommates.  But that is not the Lord’s design.  Jesus declares, “What God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).  The Lord binds you together in a blessed union, and it is a union that is inseparable and insoluble.  As God designed it, it is a union that is a blessing for both of you.

     To preserve this union between two sinners, the Lord has blessed you even more.  He has bound you to himself.  After considering, “Two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9), Solomon concludes, “A rope with three strands is not quickly snapped” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).  The Lord takes his own place in your marital union.  He is what truly will keep you bound to one another.  He will sanctify your marriage, protect it, preserve it, and produce peace and joy within it.  That is because the Lord has bound you to himself, and he has bound himself to you. 

     God the Son became a man to unite himself to humanity.  He has made your sins his own.  He was cursed for all our impatience, our self-importance, and our cutting remarks.  His death has paid the price for the sins of the world.  Now he is risen from death and lives and reigns for your good.  By becoming a man, he bound himself to humanity.  When you were baptized, he bound you to himself.  He is yours, and you are his.  This union is blessed above all others.  And “what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).  

     The Lord Jesus is the Groom, and his Church is his Bride.  To win her for himself, he surrendered his life.  He shed his blood as the dowry.  With his holy, precious blood, he cleansed his Bride to be pure and innocent, free from all fault and flaws.  The Church, in turn, is devoted to her beloved Groom.  Just as she benefits from his love and care, so she willingly submits to him trusting that everything he does is done to exalt her.

     This mystery is reflected in your marriage.  Evan, you are the groom who does all things for the good of your bride—to bless her, to protect her, to provide for her, and to exalt her.  Dana, you are the bride who willingly submits to your husband—trusting that he seeks your good, encouraging him as he cares for you, and exalting him as the head of the house. 

     This is God’s plan for marriage.  It is still God’s plan, and it is still a good idea.  And God blesses this plan by uniting himself to you as he binds you together.  “A rope with three strands is not quickly snapped” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).  This bond will continue to be strengthened as you grow together in Christ.  He will strengthen and keep you in the one, true faith as you hear his words of grace and feast on his body and blood.  As you grow in Christ’s love, you will also increase in love for one another—forgiving one another, encouraging one another, consoling one another, praying with one another and for one another, and giving thanks together for all God’s blessings. 

     God binds you together today.  It is not a partnership for the sake of convenience.  It is a sacred institution which God established for the good of a man and a woman.  And you are doubly blessed, for your union includes the Savior who will be with you in all the ups and downs of life and who will bring you into the wedding feast of heaven.  The Lord brings you together for a blessed union—united to each other for life, and united together in Christ for life everlasting.  “A rope with three strands is not quickly snapped” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).  What God joins together, let no one separate—for it is a most blessed union. 

In the name of the Father and of the Son + and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Something from ... Christian Life Resources about cohabitation before marriage

It has become commonplace for couples to move in together before they even consider marriage.  It is so common that even Christians have adopted this as a normal order of a relationship.  This is NOT what God has designed.  

In the letter to the Hebrews, the inspired writer states God's will: "Marriage is to be held in honor by all, and the marriage bed is to be kept undefiled, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers" *(Hebrews 13:4).  Jesus repeated God's design which was established back in the Garden of Eden: “Haven’t you read that from the beginning their Maker ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate" (Matthew 19:4-6).  We note that Jesus does not promote a move-in-and-try-it stage, but a union, that is, marriage.  Since this is God's design, it is good.  And within the union of marriage, sex is good.  Some translations even use the expression "pure" (e.g., NIV).  Any deviation from God's design is sin.

Cohabitation does not honor marriage or the marriage bed.  This deviation from God's word is not only sinful, it is also destructive.  God blesses those who honor his word.  People bring grief and a curse upon themselves for rebelling against God's word.  It does not matter how well-intentioned people are or how nice they are.  Cohabiting couples are sinning against God and his design for marriage.  And before anyone pleads about how committed they are in their live-in situation, I would ask, "If you are so committed, then why haven't you gotten married?"  That would proclaim before God and all the world how committed you are to each other.

The destructive nature of cohabitation was recently documented in an email from Christian Life Resources.  The statistics do not make any moral judgments about cohabitation (God's word does that); but they do show that cohabitation results in far more damage to families and children than most people would realize.  As a rule, it does not produce strong families.  

These statistics can be ignored to the detriment of children.  God's word can be ignored to the detriment of one's eternal well-being.  Take heed to the stats and to God's word.  Repent if it is necessary.  Reserve yourself for marriage if you are single.  Do not adopt worldly attitudes and behavior.  Jesus lived and died to pay for our sins and to set us apart from wickedness.  We rejoice in his gracious forgiveness, and we devote ourselves to his designs because they are good.

Here is something from Christian Life Resources:

The Plight of Harmed Children

Over the years, it seems that stories of neglected and abused children have increased. Some have suggested that the increasing numbers indicate better reporting. Others have argued that it represents a decline in the societal value of human life, particularly the value of children. Regardless of where you stand on that debate, the numbers are significantly alarming and provide valuable insight.

• About 1 in 4 American children today are born to cohabiting parents. The number of cohabiting couples with children under 18 nearly tripled from 1.2 million (1996) to 3.1 million (2014). 
• Children of cohabiting parents are three times more likely to experience the breakup of their family during their parents’ twenties than children born to married parents. Nearly half (about 50%) of parents cohabiting at the child’s birth break up within five years, compared to only 20% of married parents.
• Children living with married parents are less likely to be abused/neglected. A CDC study found single-parent children had more than double the risk of being physically abused or neglected.
• Children of single parents are twice as likely to have emotional and behavioral problems (8%) as those from two-parent households (4%).
• Children in divorced homes were twice as likely to be absent from school for 11+ days in a year because of illness or injury, compared to children in two-parent homes (6% vs. 3%).
• In Sweden, children raised by single parents were twice as likely to experience severe psychiatric disorders, suicide attempts, or alcohol addiction.
• Children in married-couple households: 11% poverty rate. Children in cohabiting opposite-sex couple households: 47% poverty rate. Children in single-mother households: 48% poverty rate
• Data from the Fourth National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect indicate that children living with biological cohabiting parents are over four times more likely to be physically, sexually, or emotionally abused than those living with married biological parents.
• Children living with cohabiting biological parents show worse social, psychological, and educational results compared to those with married parents, even after controlling for race, income, and parental education. Outcomes include higher rates of drug use, depression, and school dropout.[1] 

Takeaway: While cohabitation may superficially resemble marriage, it does not provide the same level of safety, stability, or well-being for children as married-parent families. To put it another way, based solely on statistics and the understanding that children are needed to perpetuate the human race, it is in the best interest of children to be born into a traditional two-parent marriage rather than the alternatives.

[1] Source: https://tinyurl.com/yskupu92; https://tinyurl.com/yvxl2qdj

A Pastoral Concern on Marriage and Family (or, the lack thereof)

This pastoral concern was sparked by an article written by Gene Edward Veith.  The link to his article is at the bottom of this post.

A few weeks ago in Bible Class, I had posed the question: "Evaluate: We have a culture that devalues motherhood and despises large families."  The initial response was that the statement was extreme.  That was countered by people noting how much abortion had become a chief issue leading up to the elections.

Sadly, many young people have made it a goal to NOT have children.  Young girls are encouraged to pursue lucrative careers.  The encouragement also suggests that the career is doing something valuable with your life.  How many young girls are encouraged to be wives and mothers?  How many are told that being a stay-at-home mom is a noble vocation?  Well, if you ask Harrison Butker, kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, he will let you know that such a sentiment invites the wrath of many people. (For the full transcript of his speech, click here.  Scroll down to "A Message to the Women Graduates" to find his allegedly controversial statements about motherhood.)  When he upheld the vocation of wife, mother, and homemaker, he was vilified.  People called for him to be fired.  One person even posted where he lived, implying that he should be persecuted if not outright killed.

This is what the Lord says: "Indeed, children are a heritage from the Lord.  The fruit of the womb is a reward from him.  Sons born during one’s youth are like arrows in the hand of a warrior.  How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them" (Psalm 127:3-5).  The Lord declares that children are a blessing.  It is a blessing which was established upon the creation of a man and a woman (Genesis 1:28).  It was repeated after the Flood when Noah and his family left the ark (Genesis 9:1).  It is a blessing meant for as long as the earth endures; that's why people have a sex drive.  Now, if children are a reward, then being a stay-at-home mom is a high and noble calling.

Some might see this as a condemnation of women who have careers.  Let's be clear: Anyone can contribute to society with a career, but I suggest to you that there is no greater vocation in this world than father/mother.   What greater influence can someone have on society than in raising godly children? Unfortunately, those vocations are being avoided, and many who are avoiding them are taking great pride in resisting marriage and family.  Beware: This celebratory attitude will become deep regret in your old age.  No elderly people are celebrating loneliness.

Here is something from Gene Edward Veith at his Cranach blog about this issue.  He backs up the sentiment that marriage and family are being despised with some statistics which, I hope, will be shocking and disconcerting.   “They Will Say, ‘Blessed Are The Barren'” | Gene Veith

BIBLE BITS -- Matthew 19

This post of Bible Bits also serves as a pastoral concern about marriage and divorce.

When the Pharisees came to Jesus to ask about marriage and divorce, Jesus made it clear that divorce was not a part of God's plan.  Moreso, divorce is rebellion against God's plan.  When Jesus declared, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6), it was not a mere encouragement.  It was divine Law.  It still is divine Law.  Marriage is a gift of God.  Marriage is blessed by God.  Marriage has been established by God to be a life-long union between one man and one woman.  People who dissolve a marriage for any reason rebel against and reject what God has established.  

God has designed marriage to be a great blessing for a man and a woman.  That does not mean it is easy.  Two people, both sinners, often compete with each other for preference, for pride, and for personal interests.  Both can be lazy, selfish, sarcastic, and resentful.  Both husband and wife have goals and can look at the other as a hinderance to those goals.  Such sins make marriage bitter.  

The Pharisees sought a way out of that.  Moses was their out.  “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away" (Matthew 19:7)?  This was a concession, not a command.  A certificate of divorce was only given as a way for a woman to be publicly known as a divorced woman.  It was done only for the sake of order.  The Pharisees seemed to think this was God's stamp of approval on divorce.  But that would be like saying vandalism is okay as long as one pays the fine for it.  A fine is not a fee which grants permission to vandalize.  It is a punishment and a deterrent because vandalism is wicked.

Even the apostles seemed to be alarmed by Jesus' words when he spoke so strongly against divorce.  When they recognized that God offers no escape clause, they said, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”  But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.  For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it” (Matthew 19:10-12).  

Jesus' point about eunuchs is mainly that most people are not designed for a celibate life.  God created us to be sexual beings.  That was established by God's blessings back in the Garden of Eden.  "God said to (Adam and Eve), 'Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it'" (Genesis 1:28).  Therefore, the sexual drive to reproduce is common to all people.  There are some who do not have a drive and are perfectly content to remain single.  They are the eunuchs Jesus spoke about in the verses above.  This contentment is a gift.  The norm, however, is to be marriage, then sex, then--as God chooses to bless it--children.

The sexual drive God instills in people is properly carried out in marriage.  It is for the mutual benefit of husband and wife who work together for the good of their family.  It is especially good for children to have this father-and-mother care.  Those who chose to act outside of God's design subject themselves hardships that God did not intend.  And God's wrath runs hot against the men who impregnate women, abandon them, and reject any responsibility for their actions.  There is nothing manly about this.  It is selfish and cowardly at the highest level.  If a man is unwilling to bind himself to a woman for life, he should not do it for a night either.  Women, it is for your benefit that God forbids sex before marriage.  You will spare yourself much fear and grief if you refrain from the bed until marriage.

So, why does God make such a big deal about marriage being an unbreakable bond?  Because it is a reflection of Jesus Christ and his Church.  Jesus is fully committed and faithful to his Bride, the Church.  The Church, then, is also to be faithful to her Groom, Jesus.  The Church is by no means the best Jesus can do until he finds a better option.  He does not use the Church for his own selfish gains.  He loves his Church despite its weaknesses and blemishes.  He continually forgives the sins against him.  Jesus gave up everything for the Church so that she can be his for all eternity.  The Church, in turn, recognizes that there is no greater love than what Jesus gives to her.  The Church willingly submits to Jesus Christ for her own blessing and benefit.  Marriage is to be a reflection of that mutual love.

Just as Jesus does not look for ways to get out of his commitment to the Church and just as the Church will find no greater love than in Jesus, neither should husbands or wives flee from their marriage vows.

Yes, marriage can have its challenges.  But there is no greater earthly bond than a husband and wife.  Each serves the good of the other.  Each is to seek the good of the other.  Each should confess their sins against the other so that each can forgive each other and strive for a joyful union.  

Rather than seeking to get out of a marriage, each should be concerned about what he or she is putting into the marriage.  That will result in the blessings God has always intended them to have.

Bible Matters -- Marriage: Still God's plan, still a good idea.

Our next Bible Matters session will be Wednesday, October 28 at 7:00 PM.  We will be discussing God's will regarding marriage.

Americans are big on weddings, but marriage seems to be taking quite a beating these days.  Many are suggesting that marriage is all but meaningless.  You know, it is the "Marriage is just a piece of paper," argument.  Couples tend to move in to cohabitate before marriage, and then some never bother to get married after all.  Then there are issues with divorce, fornication, single parents, and blended families. 

What kind of message does the Bible have for all of these issues?  Are they realistic anymore?  How do we make a solid confession and defense of marriage to a society that is enthralled with sexual encounters but ambivalent with the commitment of marriage?

Questions such as these are worthy of discussion whether you are married or not.  They are especially important for young people to consider as they enter years of dating, courtship, and eventually marriage vows.  God is eager to spare you of many griefs and to guide you to a joyful marriage.

You may want to visit this link for some thoughts before we meet on Wednesday.  It is an article by Pastor James Hein, entitled, "5 Great Reasons to Live Together Before Marriage and 1 Better One Not to."  You will also find the comments after the article to be interesting and worthy of discussion, too.

If you want to follow our discussion on a Zoom session, please contact me at welsnovi@aol.com and I will get you the appropriate link.  Your may have to be limited to the chat feature for questions and discussion.

Upcoming topics for Bible Matters: 

          November 4   -- Is it important that I am special?

          November 11 -- Are all judgmental people bad?

          November 18 -- The canon of Scripture: Can we be sure we have the right books in the Bible?

          November 25  -- Thanksgiving service

Sermon -- Wedding of Jim Hardiman and Lindsey Holloway (January 25, 2020)

EPHESIANS 5:22-33

COMMIT TO ONE ANOTHER 

AS CHRIST IS COMMITTED TO YOU.

In the name + of Jesus.

     When God first established marriage, he said that it was good.  He brought together one holy man and one holy woman in a perfect Paradise to be joined as husband and wife.  This marriage was assessed by God at the close of his week of creation.  “God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31)  It stands to reason that marriage is good.  St. Paul said, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32)  Since marriage is a reflection of the love Christ has for the Church and the love the Church has for Christ, it must be good.  And it shows us what God designs marriage to be.
     I suppose that we could define marriage in very simple terms—a man and a woman love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.  Chances are, you've said that to each other a number of times.  But it is more than that.  St. Paul tells us how God has designed marriage so that it will serve as the highest blessing for both of you.
     Although St. Paul begins by addressing wives, we will turn to the husband first.  Jim, this is what the Lord says: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...” (Ephesians 5:25)  Jesus Christ loved the Church in this way: He gave up everything to have her.  The Son of God left the glories of heaven to live as a man and to endure the sorrows and pains of this world.  He took up our guilt and gave his life in exchange for ours.  So, he suffered for sins he did not commit and paid a debt he did not owe.  He assumed into himself all of our wickedness, and then he gave us credit for all of his holiness.  He took our hell so that we could have heaven.  Jesus did this because he was committed to our good—that he would take away our sins, that he would deliver us from death, and that he would open up heaven to us.  This is how Christ showed his commitment to the Church: He loves the Church and died to win her.
     Jim, as a veterinarian, you have one simple goal—to care for the health and well-being of each animal that is brought to you.  Even if a dog snarls or snaps at you, you still care for and do what is best for that animal.  Now, I am not suggesting that Lindsey will snarl or snap at you, but she will sin against you from time to time.  For, you are both sinners.  So, while marriage is intended to be a Paradise for you, it will not be perfect.  Now, just as Christ is committed to the Church, that is how you are to be committed to your bride, Lindsey.  Just as Jesus continually forgives and loves, so you get to remain committed to loving your bride.  You will continue to serve and love and seek her best, and forgive her even if she does snarl and snap at you.  For, she is more precious to you that someone's schnauzer.  Commit to one another as Christ is committed to you.
     And now, Lindsey, see what St. Paul has written for you.  “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:22-24)  God's word is not telling you to present yourself as a doormat for your husband.  And I think you already know that your groom will not treat you that way.  No, the comparison is the commitment that the Church has to Christ.  Why does the Church submit to Christ?  In order to receive good things from him.  In fact, the Church receives her glory by submitting to Christ.  It is he who has given his name to his Bride, so that you confess to be a Christian.  It is he who provides for his Bride's well-being.  It is he who protects his Bride from all that would harm or destroy or damn her. 
     By submitting to your groom, Lindsey, you are accepting his provision, protection, love, and care.  The best of his is now yours and exclusively yours.  In turn, your submission means that you are committing yourself to love and care for him as the head of the household.  Now, the head does not do harm to the rest of his body.  What good would that be?  Think about it: If you are walking across a room in the dark and stub your toe, your head does not dismiss it and say, “I'll bet that hurt.”  No.  The whole body aches.  And so, Bride and Groom are united in this way.  If one hurts, you both hurt.  If one rejoices, you both rejoice.  Your commitment and devotion to each other serves for the great benefit of each one.  In a world that can be unkind and unfair, you each have a spouse who is committed to seeking your good.  You both get to support, encourage, and console one another.  You both get to exalt one another—just the Church exalts Christ and is exalted by Christ.  This is the commitment God intends for husbands and wives.  Commit to one another as Christ is committed to you.
     And so, today God brings together a man and a woman.  Even though it may not seem like it, you are a holy man and a holy woman in God's sight—for you have been “cleansed...by the washing of water with the word, so that (Jesus) might present (you) to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that (you) might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:26-27)  Today, God joins you in the bond of marriage which he has created to be a blessing for both of you.  Today, God brings together one man and one woman to be husband and wife.  And though this world is not Paradise, you are the beneficiaries of Christ's perfect, committed love.  Your marriage gets to reflect that kind of love in each other.  God sees what he has created here, and behold, it is very good.

In the name of the Father and of the Son + and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen. 

A Pastoral Concern -- The Cost of a Wedding

I have had many thoughts ruminating about weddings, but have not taken the time to jot them down.  Then I saw someone post a link to this article on Facebook 19 Wedding Traditions To Seriously Ditch (And Replace With These Trendy Alternatives), and I thought I would respond to it.

I agree with some of the advice, and I whole-heartedly disagree with others--e.g., to ditch the traditional wedding vows.  The Church has those vows for theological reasons.  Husbands and wives are vowing to serve each other in marriage as God has designed marriage to be.  They should not be put aside for your own personal "what marriage means to me" vows.  God designed marriage to be a blessing for husband and wife.  He knows what he's doing with his design.

There are lots of concerns that I could express regarding the Christian wedding, but I will try to limit myself to just this point: The wedding industry is making weddings so cost prohibitive that men and women are in no hurry to get married.  (I know, there are other reasons they prefer to cohabitate, but the cost of the wedding is a common excuse.)

Ask anyone how much a wedding costs and you will get answers in the thousands of dollars.  Sometimes, that is just the cost of the dress!  Then there is the reception (hall, caterer, drinks, DJ, etc...).  Plus the party favors and gifts for the bridal party.  The photographer, the wedding album, and whatever other photo package you want.  Don't forget the appointments at the hair salon.  Why not a bus for the bridal party?  What about a photo booth?  Gifts for all the guests?  Maybe a destination wedding?  Also factor in the cost of the church, a pastor, the organist and/or other musicians.  Good grief!  No wonder people take forever to get married!  The cost is extravagant.

Or is it?

Do you know how much it costs to get married in Michigan?  $20.  (I looked it up.)  If any couple insists that it is too costly to get married, they are wrong.  A marriage license costs $20.  There is really no reason for a man and a woman who claim they want to get married to put it off.  In fact, it used to be pretty common for a marriage ceremony to be conducted in conjunction with the Divine Service on Sunday morning.  The bride and groom present themselves before the congregation to vow themselves to each other, to receive God's blessings, and the prayers of the Church.  Do you know what that would cost?  $20.

I can actually hear sighs of incredulity and eye rolls from here.  People are expressing displeasure (if not outrage) that a wedding would be done with so little fanfare and revelry.  But here is the point: It is not that people can't afford to get married; it is that people can't afford the giant party and the limitless extras that come along with it.  If you can afford that and want to do that, good for you!  I'm sure your guests will love it.  But it is not necessary.  The problem is that we all think it is.  And thus, you end up with a bill that is equivalent to a year of college tuition, room, and board.

Here is a thought, and you may want to give it some serious thought: Keep the wedding simple.  Do you really need to invest hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars in dresses and tuxes that you will never wear again?  Do you really need a $30/plate dinner to follow?  Or the $1,000 DJ who blares the music which kills any conversation among family members who rarely get to see each other?  Will your wedding party really despise you if they don't get lavish gifts?

Rather than invest thousands of dollars into your special day, perhaps you can scale back significantly and use that money toward a down-payment on a house or pay off college loans.  That way, you will not enter married life so deeply in debt.  Once again, if you can afford to do all this stuff, go for it.  No one is stopping you.  The reality is, most people can't afford it.  But we believe we have to do it.  

The point of the wedding day is for the bride and groom to make their marriage vows to each other, to declare to the world that they are husband and wife, and to receive God's blessing and the prayers of the people.  Everything beyond that is extra.  And while you are free to do all the extras you want, it should be obvious that they are not free.  They can end up being very expensive.  They could even result in massive debt.  I contend that the fanfare and the party dominate the day far more than the wedding vows and God's blessing. These costs have consequences.  Brides and groom should give serious consideration if they are worth the expense.  

Sermon -- 14th Sunday after Pentecost (August 26, 2018)

EPHESIANS 5:21-33

WE ENJOY A BLESSED UNION, BY GRACE.

In the name + of Jesus.

     This reading from Ephesians is hard, but for all the wrong reasons.  In this reading, St. Paul declares God's design for marriage.  It is simple enough: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church...  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...” (Ephesians 5:22-23,25)  The language is straight forward.  A man and a woman each have their own roles in the marriage bond.  Each is to serve the other in those roles.  What is hard is that wives are better at hearing what their husbands are supposed to be, and husbands are better at hearing what God instructs of wives.  Both are interested in the other fulfilling their roles and are not nearly as invested in their own.  This creates strife, as each one not only struggles to fulfill his or her own role, but also judges how the other is failing to measure up.
     The other issue with this reading is that we often give our attention to the wrong word.    Chances are the word which made your eyes pop open a bit was the word, “Submit.”  You may have even cringed when you heard it.  Americans don't submit.  And if we have to, we make it clear that we don't like it.  But the word which should grab your attention is not “submit.”  It is this one: “mystery.”  When the Lord chooses to reveal a mystery to us, we do well to pay attention to it and ponder it often.
     As he writes about the roles of husbands and wives, St. Paul concludes the whole matter with this comment: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32)  What is the mystery?  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31-32)  The Lord Jesus Christ has betrothed himself to the Church.  God became a man, making himself one of us.  He has bound himself to mankind in order to make mankind his own.  God and man are one flesh in Jesus Christ.  He joined himself to us, and he joined us to himself.  We enjoy this blessed union by grace.
     When a man chooses to marry a woman, it is because he finds something about her that is attractive, endearing, and beautiful.  Jesus chose us to be his own, but he did not choose us because we are pure.  He did not love us because we were so beautiful or so obedient.  Our lives are not pretty.  We have not submitted to God's word and followed his commands.  We convince ourselves that happiness and fulfillment come by grasping at what God forbids—just as Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden.  With those sinful attitudes, we still reject God's instruction. 
     Consider what God says to married couples.  “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)  Women recoil at this, thinking that God wants them to be doormats for their husbands to walk all over.  Women reply, “Submit to him!?  What about me?  What do I get out of this?”  Men are no different and no better.  This is what the Lord says: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...” (Ephesians 5:25)  The husband is to sacrifice himself for the good of his wife and his family.  He is to spend his entire life saying, “No” to his sinful nature.  Sinful hearts will not put up with that.  Men ask, “Give myself completely?!  What about me?  What do I get out of this?”  So, both refuse to submit God's instruction because each is interested in self-preservation and personal gain.  This love has strings attached, and it is usually revoked if it is not satisfied.  For the sinful heart loves itself first and foremost.  Repent.
     But God's love is not sinful.  It is pure.  It seeks your good.  It does what is best for you and gives only what is good for you.  Therefore, Jesus did not betroth himself to you because you are pure or beautiful or even good.  Rather, Jesus loves you because he is good.  In becoming a man, Jesus took his place with us.  He became one flesh with us and took up our cause.
     If a woman enters marriage bringing with her a large debt from college loans and credit cards, the man who chooses to marry her assumes the responsibility for her debt.  He makes it his own and bears responsibility to pay it off.  We owe God our willful obedience, and we have defaulted on this.  We cannot even begin to make the payment on our sins.  When Jesus Christ betrothed himself to us, he assumed the responsibility for our debt.  He made himself one flesh with us in order to pay for our guilt with his innocent blood.  He submitted himself to crucifixion—dying a cursed death so that we would be pardoned for our sins.  The debt has been paid.  You are free and clear of all charges.
     We enjoy a blessed union, by grace.  The Lord has joined himself to you in order to take away all of your sins from you.  At the same time, the Lord Jesus has joined you to himself so that all that is his is now yours.  By his innocent blood, he cleanses you by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. (Ephesians 5:26-27)  The Lord Jesus has arrayed you in a robe of his righteousness so that you are pure, innocent, and beautiful in his sight.  He gives you his name so that you know you are his.  He provides for your needs.  He protects you from sin, death, and the devil.  He guarantees your place at the heavenly wedding banquet.  For you are not merely a guest in heaven.  Rather, you are united to Christ in a blessed union.  The two have become one flesh.  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:32)
      In this way, husbands ought to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.  If you are one flesh with her, if you have given her your name, then you care for her, sacrifice for her, protect her, provide for her, and cherish her above every earthly gift that God gives you.  For, love does not seek what it can get out of someone.  Rather, love devotes itself to giving, to serving, and to seeking the best for the other. 
     This is what wives are submit to—willingly receiving these good things from their husbands.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. (Ephesians 5:23)  The Church is not shamed or degraded in any way by submitting to Christ.  On the contrary, this is how the Church receives her good things.  By submitting to Christ, the Church receives her glory, honor, and salvation.  Christ is the head and the Lord of the Church, but he is no tyrant.  He is not abusive, but gentle.  He is not fickle with his love, but faithful.  For, even when we come back to him with our sins, he speaks tenderly with forgiveness, assurance, and encouragement.  In Jesus, you remain unblemished, pure, endearing, and beautiful.  For, Jesus does not despise his betrothed.  His love endures forever.
     We enjoy a blessed union by grace.  And the Lord has designed marital unions to reflect that love and service among husbands and wives.  Although husbands and wives do not have pure and perfect love and there are no perfect marriages on earth, they can still be good.  They still receive God's blessing.  Husbands and wives continue to say, “No,” to their sinful desires.  They forgive each other for their sins, and they submit themselves to God's will in order to seek the good of the other. 
     We enjoy a blessed union, by grace.  While our love will never be perfect on this side of heaven, Jesus' love is.  His love has worked for our good and has gained our place at the heavenly wedding feast.  For, the Lord loves his Church.  And he will rejoice over her for all eternity, just as the Church rejoices in the Lord and eagerly looks for her Groom to return.  Until then, we get to taste the feast which our Lord has prepared for our good.  By it, he nourishes and cherishes his body so that we persevere to the end.  This is a profound mystery, and we do well to ponder it; for the Lord bestows endless joys through it.

In the name of the Father and of the Son + and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

A Pastoral Concern, Lutheran Satire, and Sexual Misconduct

There have been an alarming number of stories recently about sexual misconduct, sexual harassment, and other related matters.  It is equally alarming to hear that much of this is not new, but has been covered up by perpetrators, by victims, and by other accomplices. 

While I suppose we should not be surprised by the evil that takes place in this world, sexual sins always seem to be worse.  They are not only a violation of one's body, they are usually also a violation of one's trust.  They are of such a personal and intimate nature that even criminals find them appalling.  (As I understand it, criminals carry out their own brand of justice on such offenders once they are put in jail.) 

I wonder why such sins are, sadly, so common.  I have some guesses.  I can think of numerous factors which attribute to people's utter lack of self-control and/or sense of entitlement.  These factors include pornography which, thanks to the internet, can be brought into the home of anyone.  In fact, there barely seems to be any stigma associated with pornography any longer.  People boast openly about their desires to watch it.  It is normalized, and that emboldens others to view it.  If people feed their brains with these graphic images, what makes us surprised that they want to act out on them in real life?  The virtual image only stokes up desires; and those desires crave to be gratified in reality. 

While not actually porn, much of what we choose to entertain ourselves with on TV, at the movies, and even in our music encourages and glorifies sex.  (It is usually called "love" in many songs; but who is kidding whom?)  It encourages people to act out, to gratify lusts, and once again to normalize using other people for one's own pleasure and gain.  Perversion is celebrated.  Promiscuity is cheered.  Am I overstating it?  Listen to a rock star boast of his sexual exploits to a concert hall full of people, and then listen to the fans roar with approval.  No one wretches in disgust.

Meanwhile, the Christian Church continues to proclaim the 6th Commandment, to encourage self-control of one's urges, to promote the sanctity of marriage, and to declare that God's intent for sexual happiness is limited to a husband and wife.  Hebrews 13:4 is pretty pointed on that: "Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure; for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."  Christians do not call sex dirty.  We agree with God--sex within marriage is pure.  It is blessed.  It is God's design that sex be restricted to the marriage bed so that, should pregnancy result, a father and mother who are united in marriage are united all the more to parent the child with whom God has blessed them. 

Unfortunately, the world condemns the Church's teaching of God's design as prudish and oppressive.  Of course, if God's design is followed, rampant sexual misconduct would be reduced dramatically.  Men would understand that any woman to whom he has not committed himself as her husband means that he keeps his hands off.  He even puts to death the thoughts about her that are impure.  She is not his; and therefore he respectfully treats her as belonging to another--whether she is married to another man or may potentially be married to another man someday.  (I am not naive enough to believe that the evils would stop.  There will always be the adulterers and the sexually immoral, and that will always be sad and evil.)

While encouraging people to behave is a noble goal, the Church also desires to call to repentance those who have fallen into sexual sins so that they will not be consumed by them and condemned for them.  We proclaim Christ--whose love is seen not in seeking what he can get out of people, but by laying down his life for the salvation of all.  As a faithful groom, Jesus has done all things for the good of his bride, the Church.  He removes every shameful stain from her, covers her blemishes, and makes her beautiful and radiant.  He remains forever devoted to her and faithfully seeks to glorify her.  That is what love is supposed to look like; and in Christ, it does.

For your edification and amusement, check out this video from Lutheran Satire which is related to this topic.

25 years of marital love and commitment

The post below is from the book I had made for Laura and me for our 25th anniversary.  It has been slightly edited for this blog entry.  It is also not nearly expressive of what my beloved wife--as well as my best friend--has meant to me for all of these years.

I love you, Laura!  Happy anniversary, and may God grant us many, many more.

June 27, 1992.

June 27, 1992.
Bethany Evangelical Lutheran Church,
in Appleton, Wisconsin.

       




          For one quarter of a century, God has graciously blessed us.  We were wed on June 27, 1992 at Bethany Evangelical Lutheran Church in Appleton, Wisconsin.  Since then, we have lived briefly in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.  Then we moved to Jenera, Ohio were Tom served as a vicar under Pastor Alois ("Brownie" -- we still haven't called him that to his face) Schmitzer.  We moved to Grafton, Wisconsin where Tom completed his seminary training.  Then after Tom was assigned to be an instructor at West Lutheran High School in Hopkins, Minnesota (it has since moved to Plymouth, MN), we settled in an apartment in Eden Prairie.  Our second year there, we lived in a rented house in St. Louis Park.  Finally, Tom was reassigned through the Seminary to serve as a parish pastor at Good Shepherd Evangelical Lutheran Church in Novi, Michigan.  We moved here in July of 1996 and have been here ever since.

          In those 25 years, we were richly blessed with children.  Faith was born in St. Paul, MN.  Nathanael was born in St. Paul, MN.  Andrew was born in Livonia, MI.  Caleb was born in Livonia, MI.  Philip was born in Livonia, MI.  Peter was born in Livonia, MI.  We were also anticipating another, but on May 4, 2010, Isaac Christopher was still born.  His body awaits the resurrection at Glen Eden Cemetery in Livonia.

          25 years has not been without its bumps and bruises.  We have been parted from grandparents and friends by death, and we have bid farewell to friends whom we were thankful to have had in our lives, even if momentarily.

          Still, God has been good, and has been pleased to see to it that we still have had each other to lean on, to laugh together, to cry together, to celebrate the joyous moments with thanksgiving, and to pass through pain and hardship with prayer.

          We did not know where we would go when we were married 25 years ago.  We did not know how the Lord would bless us and what we would experience.  But we were committed to going through whatever it would be together.  We would not have had it any other way, and we would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

After 25 years, ths is what the Lord has turned us into.
December 25, 2016.  It is getting harder and harder to get us all together in one place.

Summer 2017, celebrating 25 years together.

Sermon -- For the Wedding of Jerry Fix & Ruth Gonzalez (May 20, 2017)

GENESIS 2:18-25

AND GOD SEES THAT IT IS GOOD.

In the name + of Jesus.

     Throughout the days of creation, the Lord surveyed all that he was making.  We read about Lord's assessment over and over again: “And God saw that it was good.” (Genesis 1:4,10,12,18,21,25)  However, after he had created the man, the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)  God's design is not for a man and a woman to go it alone.  Some can and do, but most men and women crave the companionship of marital union.  God was pleased to unite both of you in marriage before, and it was good.  But the course of life found each of you alone again.  And now God has been pleased to bring you together, each for the second time, as husband and wife.  And this, too, is good.
     So that we would know what God intends for a husband and wife, the Lord points to the perfect union of Jesus Christ who is the Groom and his Bride, the Church.  Holy Scripture tells us: “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  In the same way husbands should love their wives....” (Ephesians 5:25-28)  
     Everything Jesus did was for the good of his Bride, the Church, even though we are not good.  We all have flaws and blemishes.  We are marred by sin and scarred by guilt.  Our lives are not pretty.  We live with the shame of people who have forsaken our Lord and chased after what God forbids to find our thrills.  We may be able to hide our shame from each other, but Jesus sees us for what we are.
     We do not deserve the love and affection that Jesus shows us.  But then again, Jesus does not love us or care for us because we are worthy.  Jesus loves us because he is love.  Jesus cares for us because he is compassion.  He chose you not because he needs you, but because he loves you.  Therefore, Jesus did everything to remove every stain of sin from our record.  Jesus did not spare anything for her.  He suffered for the sins we had committed and died bearing the curse we deserve.  Though holy baptism, Jesus clothed you in his own righteousness so that you stand before him without spot, wrinkle, or blemish.  In Christ, you are beautiful and blameless.  And God sees that it is good.
     Jerry, this is how you get to love your bride.  You do all things to exalt and honor her.  Like Jesus does for his Church, you do not focus on faults of your bride, but you get to serve her with love and compassion.  You give yourself to her for her good.  And you share the joy that Adam had when he was first joined to his bride: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh....” (Genesis 2:23)
     Just as Scripture speaks to husbands, so it also speak to wives.  “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” (Ephesians 5:22-23)  Now, Americans bristle at the word submit.  If God had told husbands, “Do whatever you want to your wife,” you might have good reason to bristle—although I don't think you would agree to marry a man you don't trust or respect.  But what God tells the man is to lay down his life for his wife, as Christ loved the Church.  To the wife, the Lord says, “Submit to that.”  If you submit to your husband, then you are willingly submitting to a man who will love you as Christ loves the Church.
     The Church submits to Christ in order to receive all good things from him.  Jesus has taken up all that is yours—your sin and the cursed death that accompanies it.  In turn, Jesus has given the Church all that is his.  His righteousness is yours.  His resurrection is yours.  His kingdom is yours.  His mercy, grace, and salvation are yours.  By submitting to Jesus, you receive all these things from him.  Likewise, Ruth, by submitting to your husband, all that is Jerry's is yours.  You get to receive all good things from him.  And God sees that it is good.
     When God first created a bride for Adam, he did not simply summon her into being as he did with all other parts of creation.  God had crafted Adam from the dust of the ground, but the woman he took from Adam's rib.  She was not to be someone for him to walk over, but someone who would be near and dear to his heart.  The bride received her life from the man's side.  In the same way, our Lord Jesus went to the cross to win his bride.  The dowry was his life.  When Jesus died, a Roman soldier ran his sword into Jesus' side, bringing forth a sudden flow of blood and water.  Jesus' Bride receives her life from what comes from his side.  The water of baptism has cleansed you and covered you with garments of salvation.  His blood is given in the Lord's Supper to keep you holy, to nurture you in godly living, and to keep you faithful to your heavenly Groom forever.  By these, he also works in you to sustain your love and faithfulness to each other.  And God sees that it is good.
     The love which the Lord has shown you, you now will strive to show one another.  Though you are not perfect and you will sin against one another, you also know what it is to be forgiven.  The love which Jesus bestows on you will work in you so that you will forgive each other, serve each other, find contentment in each other, and be faithful to each other.  This is the joy which the Lord intends for husbands and wives, which dimly reflects the joy between Christ, the Groom, and his Bride, the Church.
     The Lord, in his wisdom, saw that it was not good that you two remained alone.  The Savior who loves you has been pleased to bind you together today.  God sees it, and bless it; and it is very good.

In the name of the Father and of the Son + and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen. 

A Pastoral Concern -- Cohabiting without Marriage

God's design for marriage is very straight forward -- one man and one woman unite for a life-long union.  Any variation of this format defies God's word.


This particular post spring boards from a blog post from Gene Edward Veith here.


While God's word is the standard that determines right and wrong, a study (see the link for Veith's blog) also demonstrates that defying God's word under the excuse that it is more convenient or that marriage is merely a matter of bureaucratic paperwork is not in the best interest of husband, wife, and child(ren).  To this world, this is ground breaking material.  To adherents of the Bible, this is not surprising.


Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled... (Hebrews 13:4)  God not only tells us what marriage is designed to be and that it is good, but he also blesses those who heed his word.  Again, to the world it is ground breaking; to the Christian it is not a surprise.  Instead, it is cherished.

A Pastoral Concern -- Cohabitation versus Marriage and its results

Here's an interesting article about cohabiting versus marriage and the subsequent results for the children which result from it. 

https://thefederalist.com/2017/02/06/report-global-spike-cohabitation-destabilizing-childrens-lives/

Now, I may be more eager to believe it because it agrees with what Scripture says regarding marriage.  On the other hand, this does not vindicate God's design for marriage.  God vindicates himself.  And his word is clear: "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." (Hebrews 13:4, ESV)  In other words, the marriage bed is a good thing, and sex within marriage is pure.  Outside of marriage, sex is "immoral," "adulterous," and "defiled."  This is God's judgment of it.  We ignore and defy God and his word at our own peril.

What's more, the article above states that studies now prove that children born outside of marriage are raised in homes that are not as stable and that it has a negative effect on children.  Better for the children is that a husband and wife be married, commit themselves to one another, and serve as dutiful parents who love and discipline their children.

It is as if God were on to something when he designed marriage, sex, and child-rearing in the order he does!

Something from ... Luther, and A Pastoral Concern regarding marriage

          

          This comment from Luther has also spawned into a pastoral concern about marriage vs. cohabitation and refusing to get married.

          The following is from Martin Luther (1483-1546), written in 1530.  It is regarding men who will not marry.

          "For God has created women to be held in honor and as helpers for man and for this reason he does not wish to have such love forbidden and despised.  The flesh and the devil teach men to use women only for dishonor so that one after another is put to shame, as your new, highly lauded marriageless (I nearly said honorless) state has done up to now and still does.  That is not to love women, but to love and seek unchastity and shame in women, treating and regarding them not as women but as harlots, so that henceforth no one wants to love or respect them.  But God wills that they be valued and esteemed as women and that this be done gladly and with love.  That is to say, one should take them in marriage and remain with them in conjugal love.  That pleases God, but it requires skill and grace." (Martin Luther, Exhortation to All Clergy Assembled at Augsburg, Luther's Works: American Edition, Vol. 34, pp 41-42)

          These words were originally written against the Roman Catholic Church which forbid their priests to marry and commanded their celibacy (although many had mistresses).  The problems that resulted in Luther's day are similar to the problems which are reported against many priests today.  There is nothing new under the sun.

          What struck me about this passage, however, is a different way to apply it today.  Many people are forsaking marriage.  They do not, however, remain chaste until they are married.  Refusing to marry, couples share a house, a bed, often children, and other matters that pertain to married couples.  They usurp all the rights and privileges of marriage, and yet flaunt that they will not marry, even insisting that fornicating and cohabiting are honorable.  Men refuse to be honorable, committed, loving husbands; and women concede that this is a preferred arrangement.

          An honest question for those who are cohabiting: If you are so committed to one another, why don't you actually get married?  Alternatively, if you are not that committed to each other, why are you so eager to live as if you are married?

          Re-read the above quote from Luther.  This time, do not consider the context of priests who are ordered to remain celibate.  Rather, think of men who refuse to marry the women they live with.  And if you are among those who are treating your lover so shamefully, repent and marry that woman.  Honor her and God's gift of marriage as they deserve to be.

A Pastoral Concern: God's word matters

While it is disappointing that the Supreme Court has determined that all states must allow same-sex marriages, it did not come as a surprise to me.  Not even remotely.  It was wrapped in the mantle of "freedom," and "equality," and "love," and if you are even 1% American, you are obligated to stand up and cheer for that.  For that reason, it was a foregone conclusion that the Supreme Court was going to make the decision it did.  (I was surprised that the verdict was 5-4.  I thought the margin would have been wider.)

If you are interested in reading formal responses from some Lutheran leaders, the links follow.  The first is from WELS (Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod) president, Rev. Mark Schroeder (no relation).  You can read his remarks here.

Equally good are the remarks of LC-MS (Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod) president, Rev. Matthew Harrison.  His remarks are here.

The decision, the spirit of our society, the concern of many Christians, and the fears or foaming at the mouth of many people give me plenty of reasons to pray.  I have heard and read too many articles or comments to process.  Nevertheless, I will offer mine.

I will limit myself to encouraging Christians to hold to matters of sex and marriage as Scripture speaks of them.  That means first of all that strive to uphold our own Christian marriages first.  We do not give ourselves over to fornicating, cohabiting, extra-marital affairs, divorce, or other sins which fail to keep the marriage bed pure.  This is the best advertisement and endorsement for traditional marriage we can have.  After all, no one has to answer for the sins of others.  Each of us has to answer for our own.  Nor can we force people to live godly lives.  Each of us can only strive for godly living on our own--and if that means repenting of sexual sins, then we repent of our own sins, flee from them, and find forgiveness from Jesus.

After that, it is best not to resort to rational arguments why following God's word is good and why defying it is bad.  For example, don't argue that children are raised best by a mom and a dad and that's why traditional marriage should be supported and same-sex marriage is bad.  In response, you will hear stories about completely messed up, dysfunctional, or abusive mom-and-dad homes while the children adopted by some wonderful gay couple are thriving and contented.  And just like that, your argument gets thrown back in your face.  Reasonable arguments will always be countered by reasonable arguments.  Anecdotes, generally, prove nothing.  Statistics are also often useless.

God's word matters.  Our hope, our confidence, and our salvation all rest on sacred Scripture because sacred Scripture always stands true.  Others may hate it and reject it, but the Scriptures will still confess and state divine truth.  If the Scriptures are rejected and hated, the problem is not that we have failed to find a solid argument; the problem is that there will always be people who despise God and his word.  As much as we would like to see that change, it will never change for some.  Perhaps even for many.  In the days of Noah and Elijah, it was even for most--but the word of God still endures.

God's word matters, but it is alarming to see many Christian churches try to explain away the Bible and its testimony.  Some claim it is outdated, is misunderstood, or has been corrupted.  Others simply dismiss or ignore the parts of Scripture which are unpopular or which personally call them to repent.  This is simply a matter of unbelief.  Those who dismiss the Scriptures on certain teachings are confessing that they reject the word of the Lord.  Perhaps it comes from a desire to be loved by the world.  But a church which desire to be loved by the world will have to forsake God's word to do it.

Still others will confess a made-up god.  See if any of these sound familiar: "The god I worship would never find fault with nice people who simply want to love."  "Jesus never condemned anyone.  He told us not to judge or we would be judged."  "God is about love, not hate."  Such a god does not exist, because the Bible does not reveal a God who only loves.  Again, this probably comes from a desire to be loved by the world.  But people who desire to be loved by the world will have to deny the Jesus revealed in Scripture to do it.

God's word matters.  God's word sets down the standard of right and wrong.  God demands us to live up to it (Matthew 5:48).  God hates sin and all who are guilty of it (Psalm 5:5).  That means we are all worthy of God's wrath.  We are guilty, and the guilty deserve punishment.  But God revealed his love through Jesus.  Jesus absorbed all of God's anger on behalf of all sinners when he was crucified.  But, that crucifixion also shows us that God does hate sin.  Jesus endured total rejection from God the Father and suffered the divine curse for us and for all sinners.  The guiltless died for the guilty so that sins could be paid for and the guilty could be pardoned.  This isn't true because we want it to be; it is true because God has said so in his word.  God's word matters.

Those who invoke Jesus' name as the reason for engaging willfully in their sins (and it does not matter what the sin is) will not find forgiveness from him.  They are despising his sacrifice, rejecting his call for repentance, and denying the Scriptures which urge us to flee from evil and pursue righteousness.  Again, this is unbelief--no matter how much such people insist that they are devout Christians.  Though many will claim that Jesus delights in them while they willfully sin against his word, they are worshiping a made up Jesus.  God calls willful defiance evil, and God hates evil.

(NOTE: If you have read this far and are struck with fear because you are struggling with your sins and recognize that you keep on doing them, that is NOT willful defiance.  Those who are struggling are still fighting against their sins.  Flee to Jesus.  Come to church to hear the word.  Go to your pastor for confession and absolution.  You need not be devoured by your sin and guilt.  This is precisely what Jesus came to pay for and to provide strength to fight against.  Those who willfully engage in their sins do not struggle against them.  They cherish their sins.  They will not repent of them.  And they want their sins approved.  Though many will encourage them in their sins, the Church will still plead for them to repent so that they do not perish.)

God's word matters.  It is our only way of knowing right and wrong, good and evil.  It is our only confidence that our own sins, which are many, have been forgiven.  It is our motivation to flee from wickedness and pursue righteousness.  It is our only comfort when we are plagued by the guilt and fears our own sins still inflict on us.  It is the only source of mercy for anyone who lives.  And therefore, it must be preached and confessed and upheld in all points by God's people.  Many will still hate it and despise it, but some will believe it and receive priceless and everlasting comfort through it.  And that matters.