Something from ... Christian Life Resources about cohabitation before marriage

It has become commonplace for couples to move in together before they even consider marriage.  It is so common that even Christians have adopted this as a normal order of a relationship.  This is NOT what God has designed.  

In the letter to the Hebrews, the inspired writer states God's will: "Marriage is to be held in honor by all, and the marriage bed is to be kept undefiled, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers" *(Hebrews 13:4).  Jesus repeated God's design which was established back in the Garden of Eden: “Haven’t you read that from the beginning their Maker ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate" (Matthew 19:4-6).  We note that Jesus does not promote a move-in-and-try-it stage, but a union, that is, marriage.  Since this is God's design, it is good.  And within the union of marriage, sex is good.  Some translations even use the expression "pure" (e.g., NIV).  Any deviation from God's design is sin.

Cohabitation does not honor marriage or the marriage bed.  This deviation from God's word is not only sinful, it is also destructive.  God blesses those who honor his word.  People bring grief and a curse upon themselves for rebelling against God's word.  It does not matter how well-intentioned people are or how nice they are.  Cohabiting couples are sinning against God and his design for marriage.  And before anyone pleads about how committed they are in their live-in situation, I would ask, "If you are so committed, then why haven't you gotten married?"  That would proclaim before God and all the world how committed you are to each other.

The destructive nature of cohabitation was recently documented in an email from Christian Life Resources.  The statistics do not make any moral judgments about cohabitation (God's word does that); but they do show that cohabitation results in far more damage to families and children than most people would realize.  As a rule, it does not produce strong families.  

These statistics can be ignored to the detriment of children.  God's word can be ignored to the detriment of one's eternal well-being.  Take heed to the stats and to God's word.  Repent if it is necessary.  Reserve yourself for marriage if you are single.  Do not adopt worldly attitudes and behavior.  Jesus lived and died to pay for our sins and to set us apart from wickedness.  We rejoice in his gracious forgiveness, and we devote ourselves to his designs because they are good.

Here is something from Christian Life Resources:

The Plight of Harmed Children

Over the years, it seems that stories of neglected and abused children have increased. Some have suggested that the increasing numbers indicate better reporting. Others have argued that it represents a decline in the societal value of human life, particularly the value of children. Regardless of where you stand on that debate, the numbers are significantly alarming and provide valuable insight.

• About 1 in 4 American children today are born to cohabiting parents. The number of cohabiting couples with children under 18 nearly tripled from 1.2 million (1996) to 3.1 million (2014). 
• Children of cohabiting parents are three times more likely to experience the breakup of their family during their parents’ twenties than children born to married parents. Nearly half (about 50%) of parents cohabiting at the child’s birth break up within five years, compared to only 20% of married parents.
• Children living with married parents are less likely to be abused/neglected. A CDC study found single-parent children had more than double the risk of being physically abused or neglected.
• Children of single parents are twice as likely to have emotional and behavioral problems (8%) as those from two-parent households (4%).
• Children in divorced homes were twice as likely to be absent from school for 11+ days in a year because of illness or injury, compared to children in two-parent homes (6% vs. 3%).
• In Sweden, children raised by single parents were twice as likely to experience severe psychiatric disorders, suicide attempts, or alcohol addiction.
• Children in married-couple households: 11% poverty rate. Children in cohabiting opposite-sex couple households: 47% poverty rate. Children in single-mother households: 48% poverty rate
• Data from the Fourth National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect indicate that children living with biological cohabiting parents are over four times more likely to be physically, sexually, or emotionally abused than those living with married biological parents.
• Children living with cohabiting biological parents show worse social, psychological, and educational results compared to those with married parents, even after controlling for race, income, and parental education. Outcomes include higher rates of drug use, depression, and school dropout.[1] 

Takeaway: While cohabitation may superficially resemble marriage, it does not provide the same level of safety, stability, or well-being for children as married-parent families. To put it another way, based solely on statistics and the understanding that children are needed to perpetuate the human race, it is in the best interest of children to be born into a traditional two-parent marriage rather than the alternatives.

[1] Source: https://tinyurl.com/yskupu92; https://tinyurl.com/yvxl2qdj

A Pastoral Concern about a constitutional amendment to establish abortion rights -- Updated

NOTE:  I offer some new thoughts.  This is updated from an earlier post (update 10/23/22).

The State of Michigan (among others) will give voters the opportunity to add an amendment to the state constitution which would establish and protect the "right" of a woman to get an abortion and of medical professionals to provide them, known as Proposal 3.  The verbiage of Proposal 3 is below in black; my comments are in red.  The verbiage which voters will see when they get their ballots on November 8 is all the way at the bottom.  

If you don't want to read all of this, here is the short version: Vote NO on Proposal 3; it is evil and promotes evil.

Or you can check out this video. 

CAVEAT: I am not a lawyer, so there may be some legalese which I may not fully recognize or understand, such as all of point 5 below.

First, an initial thought regarding a constitutional amendment: This should be hard.  Constitutions should not be so easy to have amendments attached to them.  Even if Proposal 3 were adopted (God forbid), it could simply be passed as a law, not forever ensconced in the state constitution.  The fact that people yearn so much to see abortion protected as a basic human right is an abomination.  One would think that a child in the womb has some basic rights.  This Proposal, if passed, denies that.

It also seems to me that Proposal 3 excuses men who father children from any responsibility or accountability for their actions.  I fear that many men would love this kind of "freedom," and certainly not to the benefit of the women they impregnate.

FULL TEXT OF PROPOSAL 3

AMENDMENT TO THE MICHIGAN CONSTITUTION

Article 1, Section 28 Right to Reproductive Freedom

(1) Every individual has a fundamental right to reproductive freedom, which entails the right to make and effectuate decisions about all matters relating to pregnancy, including but not limited to prenatal care, childbirth, postpartum care, contraception, sterilization, abortion care, miscarriage management, and infertility care.

This "freedom" is a myth from the start.  Many women long to get pregnant and to have a child.  For reasons known only to God, he occasionally withholds that blessing.

In the list of "including but not limited to," sterilization and abortion care stand out as markedly different than the other items listed.  These are not the same.  While sterilization may--almost certainly does--have several moral issues associated with it (e.g., rejection of God's gift of children), abortion is murder of a baby in the mother's womb.  In a place where it should be safe, it becomes most vulnerable to a vacuum, knife, or saline treatment that burns it to death.  Where are the rights of the child?

This phrase is also alarming: "Every individual has a fundamental right to ... sterilization."  What age are we talking about?  And the ensuing paragraph makes it even more disturbing that this individual's right "shall not be denied, burdened, nor infringed upon."  Does that mean a parent has no say if their twelve-year-old wants to be sterilized?  Parental rights matter, as children are not to be entrusted with such life-altering decisions.  That's why they are minors.

There may also be some issue with "infertility care," but I will pass by that for now.  The fact is that this bill is about abortion more than anything.

An individual’s right to reproductive freedom shall not be denied, burdened, nor infringed upon unless justified by a compelling state interest achieved by the least restrictive means.

The phrase "compelling state interest": What could that be????

Notwithstanding the above, the state may regulate the provision of abortion care after fetal viability, provided that in no circumstance shall the state prohibit an abortion that, in the professional judgment of an attending health care professional, is medically indicated to protect the life or physical or mental health of the pregnant individual.

If a baby in the womb threatens the life of the mother, the death of the mother would likely result in the death of the baby as well.  This would result in a gut-wrenching decision to preserve the mother's life at the expense of her baby.  Such decisions produce great angst, and probably also great guilt.  These cases are worthy of our prayers for God's mercy.  Odds are, however, that the baby can be taken early and that both lives could be spared.  One would hope that this is the most sought after solution rather than abortion.

Does this clause mean that abortions would be legal right up to the moment of birth?  It sure seems to allow for it.

The phrase "physical or mental health of the pregnant individual" (you can say "woman" right?  that is the only biological choice, isn't it?) seems to open the door to abortion for any reason.  Can a woman claim, "This pregnancy is stressing me out" and have that be a mental health issue which is sufficient reason for abortion?  Can just the uncomfortableness of a pregnancy be a sufficient health issue to terminate a pregnancy?  Or maybe even, "I don't want to get fat"?  Based on the zeal to defend and protect abortion, I would guess so.

Who qualifies as "an attending health care professional"?

(2) The state shall not discriminate in the protection or enforcement of this fundamental right.

"Fundamental" right?  Based on what?  Who has decreed it fundamental?

"Shall not discriminate"?  No age limit at all?  What about a 4-year-old getting sterilized or receiving treatments for transitioning from boy to girl or vice versa?  That seems to me to be child abuse, not a fundamental right.  And this is protected?!?!

(3) The state shall not penalize, prosecute, or otherwise take adverse action against an individual based on their actual, potential, perceived, or alleged pregnancy outcomes, including but not limited to miscarriage, stillbirth, or abortion. Nor shall the state penalize, prosecute, or otherwise take adverse action against someone for aiding or assisting a pregnant individual in exercising their right to reproductive freedom with their voluntary consent.

The fact that "miscarriage, stillbirth, or abortion" are placed in succession would suggest that they are viewed as equal events.  A miscarriage and a stillbirth happen beyond the mother's control.  [Full disclosure: My wife and I have experienced both.]  An abortion is sought out to intentionally kill the baby.

The state shall not "penalize, prosecute, or otherwise take adverse action against someone for aiding or assisting a pregnant individual" from getting an abortion?  So, parents can be kept in the dark about a mid-teen-aged child getting an abortion with the assistance of someone else?  Do the parents play any role in their children's lives, or are they viewed as a danger to their own children?  Is "reproductive freedom" the highest good, and is the government's decree to be stronger than a parent's role?

(4) For the purposes of this section:

A state interest is “compelling” only if it is for the limited purpose of protecting the health of an individual seeking care, consistent with accepted clinical standards of practice and evidence-based medicine, and does not infringe on that individual’s autonomous decision-making.

You will have to pardon me if I consider the phrase "evidence-based medicine" a disingenuous phrase.  Ultrasounds have produced undeniable evidence that the fetus is a human being, and that an abortion kills that human being.  In every other context, that is known as murder.  It certainly is not a "fundamental right."

For the woman who gets an abortion.  Status on your way into the abortion clinic: You have a baby growing in your uterus.  Status after the abortion: You do not have a baby growing in your uterus.  It has been forcefully, violently, grotesquely removed.  That is evidence-based medicine.

“Fetal viability” means: the point in pregnancy when, in the professional judgment of an attending health care professional and based on the particular facts of the case, there is a significant likelihood of the fetus’s sustained survival outside the uterus without the application of extraordinary medical measures.

"Extraordinary medical measures" -- Does this include NICU?

(5) This section shall be self-executing. Any provision of this section held invalid shall be severable from the remaining portions of this section.

Source: proposal-3-reproductive-freedom-constitutional-amendment-language.pdf (grdiocese.org)

There are numerous other sources which raise issues about Proposal 3.  One example is here.  It is a bad law.  It is supporting and legalizing the butchering of babies in the womb.  It is an assault on fatherhood and motherhood.  It is an offense before God.  Vote NO on Proposal 3; it is evil and promotes evil.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

This is what you will see on the ballot:

Proposal 3 – Reproductive Freedom for All

"Proposal 22-3

A proposal to amend the state constitution to establish new individual right to reproductive freedom, including right to make all decisions about pregnancy; allow state to prohibit abortion in some cases; and forbid prosecution of individuals exercising established right

This proposed constitutional amendment would:

• Establish new individual right to reproductive freedom, including right to make and carry out all decisions about pregnancy, such as prenatal care, childbirth, postpartum care, contraception, sterilization, abortion, miscarriage management, and infertility;
• Allow state to prohibit abortion after fetal viability unless needed to protect a patient’s life or physical or mental health;
• Forbid state discrimination in enforcement of this right; prohibit prosecution of an individual, or a person helping a pregnant individual, for exercising rights established by this amendment; and invalidate all state laws that conflict with this amendment.

Should this proposal be adopted?
[ ] YES
[ ] NO"

 Source: Here is language for the 3 petitions MI voters will see on the November ballot (wxyz.com)

A Pastoral Concern, also a concern of Christian Life Resources

Below is a link to an article from Christian Life Resources (previously known as WELS Lutherans for Life).  While the whole article is worth your while, it is also beneficial to read how different Lutherans understand the Bible and how Lutherans, therefore, end up all over the spectrum of theology.

How can one set of Lutherans (WELS, ELS, LC-MS, and others) condemn the practice of abortion and another set of Lutherans (ELCA) support it?  Either it is God-pleasing or it is not.  (It's not.)  So, how does the ELCA defend this practice based on the Scriptures?  This article offers some insight.

Check it out here: Churches on Abortion: Why We Differ - Christian Life Resources

A Pastoral Concern about the desperation for abortion

Much can be said (and deserves to be said) about the abortion controversy.  Many consider it a political issue.  While it is that, it is far more significantly a moral issue.  God is the creator of life.  God grants the life of children through sexual intercourse between a man and a woman.  While pregnancy is not the guaranteed result of every act of intercourse, it is the means by which women become pregnant.  Both the man and the woman engage in sex, therefore both are accountable for the results.

When this is done in the confines of marriage, the resultant pregnancy is a great blessing.  At least, God thinks so.  "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.  Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them" (Psalm 127:3-5)!  Sadly, many today disagree.

This Pastoral Concern focuses on one aspect of the abortion issue: The symbol of the coat hanger by the people who champion abortion as a right and as a good thing.  The argument is that, if abortion should be made illegal, women will have to resort to a dangerous "do-it-yourself" program of taking a coat hanger and engaging in a self-administered abortion.

It is supposed to produce such a shock that we would feel compelled to preserve a safe, clinical method of aborting a child.  Well, the shock value has worked on me.

I am shocked, appalled, and saddened that any woman would think that taking a coat hanger and injecting it into her uterus for any reason is a necessary and noble act.  I am shocked, appalled, and saddened that any woman would knowingly and willingly take a coat hanger, crank it around in her uterus like an egg-beater, and believe that this is a saner option than giving birth to a child.  I am shocked, appalled, and saddened that any woman who recognizes that she is pregnant would consider the child in her uterus something to be rooted out in such a violent, unhealthy, and vicious way.

So, well done abortion activists.  Your shock tactic has worked on me.  But it has backfired.  You want me to have compassion for your cause so that you will not resort to using a coat hanger for a self-inflicted abortion.  Rather, I am shocked that you would consider doing this to yourself at all--as if the risk of self-mutilation is a superior choice to giving birth to a child, a child that others would joyfully adopt and raise if the hardship is genuinely too much for you.  

Dear women, you deserve better than this.  And I pray that you will see that aborting your child is a great evil and that pregnancy with a child is not--even if it is unintended or inconvenient.  God thinks so.  I hope you will, too.

NOTE: If you choose to do the right and noble thing (which is not to say that it is the easy thing) and carry your child to full term and deliver it, you will find people who are willing to help you to alleviate your hardships in raising a child.  Most churches have people who are willing to provide such help.  You can also appeal to pregnancy care centers, such as the Redford Pregnancy Care Center. 

A Litany for the Gift of Life and for the Protection of the Unborn

Below is a litany for the gift of life and for the protection of unborn children.  It is a sad state of affairs that the murder of unborn children is legal, tolerated, supported, and even celebrated.  It has been said that a society can be judged based on how it treats its most vulnerable.  If that is true, our society stands under the judgment of humanity.  As far as God's judgment, that is applied with the 5th Commandment: "You shall not murder."  And yet, Roe v. Wade made such murders legal, and that law has been defended vehemently since January 22, 1973.

Even if the whole world declares the abortion of children legal, good, and even desirable, the word of the Lord shall stand against it.  The faithful in the Church will continue to declare evil what God has declared evil, and we will pray for the hearts of many to repent of this evil and turn from it.

To that end, below is a litany that is often prayed at Good Shepherd on Sundays close to the January 22 anniversary.  May God bring this horrible practice to a swift end.  And may God grant consolation to those who are participated in abortions and who now bear the guilt and regret of their actions. 

Kyrie, eleison.  Lord, have mercy.

More materials regarding the Sanctity of Life can be found at Christian Life Resources website.

A Litany for the Gift of Life and for the Protection of the Unborn

P: Almighty and eternal God, you have created this world and all of us in it.  We praise you, for we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Lead all people everywhere to see that you are our Maker and that we are the work of your hands so that all would consider human life to be sacred.  Protect and defend all to whom you give life, whether born or unborn, until that day when you take our life from us again.  Lord, in your mercy,
C: Hear our prayer.

P: Heavenly Father, you do not delight in the death of the wicked, but that all would turn from their evil ways and live.  Keep us from evil, and forgive us our sins.  Strengthen us to proclaim your Law and to warn those who would continue in their sins.  At this time, we especially pray that you would help us to warn those who continue in the sin of abortion.  Work mightily through your word to bring to repentance all who seek, provide, or support these willful acts of murder.  Change the hearts of people who see this wrong and dare to call it a right, and who are so blind to call good what is evil.  We ask not only that our nation may be cleansed of this heinous sin, but also that you turn all people from their evil ways so that they would live.  Lord, in your mercy,
C: Hear our prayer.

P: Lord of the nations, you have given authority to the governments of this world to bring order and protection and to punish the wrongdoer.  We pray for our rulers that they would act responsibly in their positions over us.  Cause the leaders of our nation to restore justice for the unborn, who are being oppressed and killed.  Grant our President wisdom and courage to speak out against abortion.  Guide our legislators to propose, support, and pass laws that would protect the life of all people, whether unborn, elderly, frail, defenseless, or handicapped.  Move our judges to do your will in all cases which decide life and death.  Teach all rulers to despise what is evil and to cling to what is good.  Lord, in your mercy, 
C: Hear our prayer.

P: Heavenly Father, you have commanded us to live chaste and decent lives.  Bring all people to recognize the virtue of chastity, to exercise self-control over their sexual impulses, to honor marriage, and to keep the marriage bed pure so that every pregnancy is a cause for joy rather than regret.  Teach husbands and wives to regard children as a reward to be cherished and not a burden to be avoided.  Grant to all pregnant women, according to your mercy, a happy result in their childbearing.  Lord, in your mercy,
C: Hear our prayer.

P:  Merciful Father, we thank you for the mercies you have bestowed upon us through your Son, Jesus Christ.  Many still bear the guilt, the shame, and the scars from sins they have committed against you.  Reveal to fearful sinners your mercies through the sufferings and death of your Son, Jesus Christ – whose body was cut, abused, and pierced to pay for sin, whose life was given up for the benefit of all, and whose blood was shed to cover over our guilt and shame.  Lord, in your mercy,
C: Hear our prayer.

P: Gracious Redeemer, you have called us to be the salt of the earth that this world might be preserved from greater wickedness.  Grant that more people will take your word to heart so that they will not sin by killing their children.  Bless those who work in our Pregnancy Care Centers so that they may faithfully speak your word to those who come to them.  Let the fear of your wrath crush those who plot wickedness, and let your forgiveness deliver the penitent from damnation and despair.  Lord, in your mercy,
C: Hear our prayer.

P: Gracious Redeemer, you have called us to be lights to the world.  Embolden us to bring your word to those around us.  Strengthen each of us so that, by our words, deeds, and prayers, we may truly be little christs to this world – doing your will, defending the helpless, aiding the needy, standing by the lonely, comforting the fearful, holding on to your truth, upholding your glory, and demonstrating your love.  Lord, in your mercy,
C: Hear our prayer.

Other intercessions may be offered.

P: Heavenly Father, we bring all of our petitions and intercessions to you, trusting that you will hear and act for our good, according to the promises of your Son, Jesus Christ, in whose name we join to pray….

LORD’S PRAYER